I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
