He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
