Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
