Jerry, you need to find god
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
