Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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