Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
as a side note pls kill me
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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