I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
