Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
