I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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