Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize