Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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