he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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