grandma shit on top of the toilet
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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