Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
