Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
