I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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