You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We're too hungover to prance.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
