So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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