PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
