Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
