I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
