He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
