he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
