You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
