the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize