Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
