trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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