the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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