what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
