One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
