That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize