so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
how drunk are you?
Several
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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