I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
