Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
