Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
you never un-have a 4some
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
