after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
