She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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