We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
