Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i think i have herpe
just one?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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