I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize