Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
How external is "for external use only"?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
