take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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