it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
