Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Even the bartender felt bad for me
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
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He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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