when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
