windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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