he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
