Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
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i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
that is very illegal...i love you.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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