Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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