Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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