OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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