Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
