We tried having a conversation with our noses.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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