Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
