Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
