Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
