new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Randomize
