listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
