I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
