ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
