with your own penis?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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