We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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