How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
