You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
