well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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